I find it difficult to put my thoughts into words that will make sense to you today, friends, because even inside my head they are jumbled around and confusing, but I will try. It is almost unbelievable to me that we are creeping up on the 2 year anniversary of when we decided to adopt. It is almost unbelievable that so much time has passed. It is almost unbelievable, but my heart knows it’s not. My heart has been on a very real, tender, tedious, frustrating, and joyful journey these past 2 years and my heart is feeling quite tired and raw from it all. Never the less, I am still hopeful. Before I go on, I want to make sure you know this is not meant to be a sad or negative post at all, just an honest glimpse of what’s in my heart.
There is so much beauty in adoption. I have had the honor and privilege of walking alongside 2 very good friends and their families as they have completed their journeys of adopting from China. As I type this, 1 friend is already home with her sweet boy and the other friend is currently in China to bring her sweet boy home. It has been so exciting and surreal to see the joy and beauty that is adoption. I have cried huge crocodile tears (aka ugly crying) of overwhelming joy as I watched my friend walk through the airport with her precious new son. I was so excited to meet her son, but the tears hit when I saw her face. I know how hard she worked and prayed and advocated to bring her son home and I can only imagine the relief and joy she must have felt stepping off the plane and into the loving embraces of her family and friends. They give me hope. They help me remember why we are doing this when it all seems so difficult, and although it seems like it’s taking FOREVER, it is all in God’s perfect timing.
The other day I was cleaning in the kitchen and listening to Pandora when a familiar song came on. At first I walked over to skip to the next song because as much as I like the group that sings it, it has never been one of my favorite songs. Something made me stop…call it a gut feeling, or as I like to say, a God nudge. I stopped what I was doing and truly listened to the words. Then I played the song over and over and over and let those words sink into my heart. And finally, in typical Lindy fashion, I cried. I cried because I realized that God does not want me to be running around worrying about all the teeny tiny details (and there are lots of them) that go into our adoption or counting the many days that keep passing us by. I cried because of the realization that God wants me to find comfort and strength in trusting Him and His promise of helping us through what He has called us to do. I cried because I was so tired and finally realized that I could rest in knowing that God’s got this all under control. If you have a moment, take a listen. Maybe it will speak to you, too, in whatever season of life you are in.
Now, with dry eyes and a hopeful heart, I wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas. Until next time…
Be Light. Be Love. Believe. Just be…
Lindy 🙂
